Indiana Jones is all that is Man. He’s smart as hell, tough, cracks a bullwhip like it’s still cool, and punches Nazi’s in their stupid smug faces. He has a foul-mouthed, ballsy girlfriend who can hold her liquor like nobody’s business. There is mythology, magic, swordfighting, guns, rocket launchers, betrayal, more betrayal, greed, face-melting, head-exploding, making out, submarines, pirates, old Egyptian shit, two nemeses (a smug, irritating French archeologist AND a crazed, creepy Nazi occult expert with several nervous tics) and tarantulas. Between Indy, Marion, and Sallah, there are horses, airplanes, cars, and cargo trucks hijacked. There is Indy fighting dirty (killing a man with an airplane rotor? shooting a swordsman?!), Marion hitting people with liquor bottles, Marion and Indy shooting people, faked deaths, real deaths, kidnappings, and explosions. Top notch action for it’s day. As far as emotions, which cloud far too many action movies today, the only emotional bullshit is that Indy and Marion had broken up ten years before and she is still pissed so she punches him in the face when he shows up for the first time. And then they get back together and kick some ass, so it’s all good. There is drinking, smoking, implied sex (on the pirate ship! double awesome!), a shit ton of violence, cussing in English, French, and German, and basically a great use of two hours. The backstory is short, the action kicks in right away, and there is no sitting around listening to bullshit or whining.
STAMP OF APPROVAL: GRANTED! Hell, I might even watch it again this weekend.
